I’m not going to sugar coat this, my children can be fecking horrible. Honestly, they are monsters! Having said that I love them to itty bitty pieces and if anyone else told me my children were monsters my Mom claws would be 3 inches deep in their juggular they wouldnt even have time to say ‘just kidding’. Im joking about that….of course….
I remember one day (how could I ever forget) when my eldest was a mere 3 years old and he along with his (at the time) 1 year old brother accompanied me to the Supermarket (well I couldnt very well leave them at home alone could I). We had to stop at the local gas station for a refill and he spied the assortment of sugary delectables lining the shelf! (Of course!) He immediatley piped up that he wanted something from the shop. Because of the horrible pricing at the store I wasn’t keen on this idea so I tried to explain to him that we would be going to a bigger and better shop after getting petrol (code for shop with better pricing and healthier options). He wasn’t having a bar of it. “I WANT TO GET OUT” he exclaimed several times. I refused his request as we continued driving on our ‘merry’ way to the Supermarket. Tears ensued and I tried my hardest to keep my attitude upbeat. We stopped at the Supermarket, a place he is usually happy to see, but not this time. “Not this shop!” he let me know, as well as everyone else within hearing distance. Still I ploughed on, carrying him in to the Supermarket and trying to bribe him with the assortment of goodies in front of us. The tears kept coming and so did the proclamation that this was not the shop he wanted to go to. Getting rather embarrassed and pink faced I told him sternly that “we are going now” as I starting my trek to the exit. Miraculously he had a 360 degree change in attitude as he told me “No, I don’t want to go”. “Do you want to get something from here?” I asked calmly. “Yes” he replied all sweet smiles. “Stop crying then” I warned. “Alright” he nodded his head in agreement and proceeded to choose a packet of biscuits and a bundle of grapes. When we were done we made our way happily back to the car that my mother and youngest son master 1 were waiting in. It was Mums turn as she handed Master 1 over to me and made her way to the Supermarket to buy some toiletries for her 10 hour flight later that evening. Sitting merrily in the car devouring his treats and sharing very well with his little brother came the revelation that he needed to go wee-wees. Looking around I realized that the nearest loo was a good 3 minute walk (that may not sound long but trust me it IS) from where we were and I didn’t have the keys to lock up the car. I did a quick think and chucked anything that looked “steal-worthy” into a hiding place, scooped master 1 into my arms and clutched master 3’s hand as we made our way to the dreaded ‘public toilets’. “Can you hold it?” I asked in a bit of a panic. “Yes” he assured me. Meanwhile master 1 is sliding down off my hip, but remaining well behaved and finally WE MADE IT TO THE LOO – WITH NO ACCIDENTS! Praise the man above!
Later on that day we went yet again to another shop, this one on the other side of the island and renowned for its fresh and affordable vegetables (the whole reason for going there). Lucky both master 1 and master 3 fell asleep during the ride and I was able to be ‘fancy free’ to roam around the shop while my mother stayed in the car with the kids (bless her). I finished my ‘child-free shopping’ and was standing in line at the check-out waiting to be served when I saw a kicking and screaming toddler giving his poor mother a hard time. I thought to myself “at least my child didn’t DO THAT” but I really felt for her, knowing all too well how frustrating and embarrassing public toddler tantrums can be! All the little rat bag has to do is smile a sweet smile at you AND ALL IS FORGIVEN *sigh* a mothers love, a non-parent could never understand.